Words to Remember... (Part 2 of "How Great is our God")

"But now, hear my speech, O Job, and listen to all my words. Behold, I open my mouth; the tongue in my mouth speaks. My words declare the uprightness of my heart, and what my lips know they speak sincerely." Job 33:1-3

These words are being spoken by a friend of Job's named Elihu. All throughout the book, Job's friends and family are giving "unwise" council, things like "Curse God and die" (Job 2:9.) But one of his friends' advise was worth heeding, and that was Elihu's. At the end of the book, God charges all of Job's friends to seek forgiveness and to offer sacrifices for their wrong judgments of Job during his trials; all but Elihu that is. He is left out of the equation. So judging especially Elihu's words, which seem to come directly form God, he alerts Job to listen carefully to the words he was about to say. He then goes on to say "For God speaks in one way, and in two, though man does not perceive it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on men, while they slumber on their beds, then he opens the ears of men and terrifies them with warnings, that he may turn man aside from his deed and conceal pride from a man; he keeps back his soul from the pit, his life from perishing by the sword."

God uses pain, affliction, trials, and tribulation to test us, to refine us, to strengthen us. As showed in Hosea, He leads us into the wilderness for our own good. This can be a hard thing for me to deal with. Was my accident for punishment or was it to draw me closer to Him? Not that I don't deserve punishment, but I believe that it was to draw him closer to Him. I've entertained idols, and I've had wealth and good times, and in both instances, I have been pulled from God. It's in the wilderness that you most appreciate God, that you can see him so clearly. It's in the rain, in the thunderstorm, while thunder is cracking all around you; that's when you draw close to Him.

"Then man prays to God, and he accepts him; he sees his face with a shout of joy, and he restores to man his righteousness. He sings before men and says: 'I sinned and perverted what was right, and it was not repaid to me. He has redeemed my soul from going down into the pit, and my life shall look upon the light." Job 33:26-28.

That says it all. The wilderness is where we find God, where His light shines the best. So in times where we wander in the desert place, remember Him, and know that He's there with you. Notice that He is still taking care of you, giving manna from the sky, and water from the rocks. And fall down at His feet, and praise Him, and He "restores to man his righteousness." So look upon the Light in the wilderness. He will be there.

Scripture...

"Is not just for information, it's for transformation."

"Is not speculation, but revelation."

"We may have seen it as an object of information, not of transformation."

- Mark Driscoll

Sola Scriptura- "by scripture alone," means that the Bible is our highest authority, but not our only authority.

Assuming God's Knowledge...

That's what these people have done. I'm not normally one to worry about people saying these type of things, but I can't help but point out that these people are the one's who claim so ardently that they try not to rob God of His rightly due Glory, yet they go and not only joke about a possible conversion, but claim to have the same knowledge as Him in the process. I guess it's just shameful that, whether Vick has or has not "found Jesus", that people who claim such stature would call into doubt such a claim, as if it's completely out of Jesus' power. It just makes me sick. Ok, I'm over it now. As Paul says in Philippians 1:18, "But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice." Amen!

Derek Webb (again)

Check out my MP3 player on the side of my page. The Derek Webb song "Wedding Dress" goes perfect with my previous post. Listen to it, and think of Hosea. Think of our Lord; loving us, pursuing us, leading us. The lyrics if you need them are below.


"Wedding Dress" - Derek Webb

If you could love me as a wife
and for my wedding gift, your life
Should that be all I'd ever need
or is there more I'm looking for

and should I read between the lines
and look for blessings in disguise
To make me handsome, rich, and wise
Is that really what you want

I am a whore I do confess
But I put you on just like a wedding dress
and I run down the aisle
and I run down the aisle
I?m a prodigal with no way home
but I put you on just like a ring of gold
and I run down the aisle to you

So could you love this bastard child
Though I don't trust you to provide
With one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in your side

I am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers so less wild
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood

Because money cannot buy
a husband's jealous eye
When you have knowingly deceived his wife

Wow! How Great is Our God! (Part 1)

I have, in the past the past few days, been doing some reading through a few passages of the Bible, and I have been pierced through my soul with some powerful word- images in them. God sure knew what He was doing when He inspired this stuff. This post I will break up into two parts, the first being on a sermon I heard; and the second, to come some time this week, on a passage in Job. Then later on this week, I should post my study on the "unequally yoked" issue. But for now, this is really rocking my world!

I came across this while studying up on the whole marriage/unequally yoked issue that I’m doing now. It’s from a Matt Chandler sermon, which I highly recommend. I will email it to you if you would like me to, or you can get it at iTunes (The Village Church – Sex, Part 3.) He does a much better job of telling the story.

In Hosea 1, God tells Hosea to go and find a prostitute and marry her and have kids with her. Hosea does so and finds this woman named Gomer, marries her, and starts a family with her. First off, God told him to marry a whore, and to have kids with her? Does this not seem a little off to you? But God is out to make a point with them; he is going to use them as a symbol of Israel’s idolatry yet again. So Gomer gives birth to a boy and God tells Hosea to name him Jezreel, which means “God will sow vengeance.” The names of the kids are of a great importance to this story. By naming the boy Jezreel, God is telling Israel that I am going to crush you. Then Gomer gives birth to a daughter and God tells Hosea to name her Lo-ruhamah, which means “no mercy.” God is saying that He will have no more mercy for Israel, that he would “ever forgive them.” Then she gives birth to a third child, a son, and God tells Hosea to name him Lo-ammi, which means “Not My People.” So God is saying that Israel is not His people, that He is not their God.

On a further note, Gomer, while being married still to Hosea, keeps selling her body, and at one point find herself sold into slavery. And in an act that can only be described as Love (God had put it in Hosea’s heart to truly love Gomer) Hosea goes down to the market and buys her back. Imagine the shame, imagine the humiliation of this prophet of God, going into the market to buy back his wife because she can’t keep her body to herself and Hosea. STOP and think of the imagery here. How many times do we whore ourselves like Gomer, even after we have found our true love, one who loves us in the truest sense of the word. We still go back and seek pleasure and profit. And even after going so far as being sold into slavery, God comes back, into the filth of this world, endures all of it’s filth and shame and the humiliation of the cross, and buys us back, the whore of a wife, the scum of the earth. Can you fathom the amount of shame Hosea had to endure, his wife naked, men bidding on her. And He Buys Her Back! He does not leave her, he does not condemn her, and he does not shun her, He Loves Her.

Now we skip to Chapter 2:14 which has God saying I will allure her (Israel) into the wilderness. God just got done saying that he will have no mercy on Israel, that He will destroy her, that He is not their God, and here in 2 He’s talking about luring her into the wilderness. God didn’t kick her out, he didn’t cast her into the wilderness to fend for her own, he didn’t say ‘Go and see what lesson you learn.” He’s saying, “come here with me, come her and follow me, I’m with you.” God is not about punishing his people. He is about scolding them for the purpose of bringing them back from their idols. The wilderness is coming for all of us. What ever it is it is coming. When it does we have two choices, to hate God for it, or to know that He’s there with us, that He’s leading us into it.
Sometimes I have run from it. Sometimes I go through the wilderness because of my idolatry, because of my sins of submitting to a lesser love. And when I’m confronted with those sins, I run. Either out of pride or out of shame. But think about Christ, while he was here on the Earth. The whore at the well; Jesus calls her into the new Life. The woman with the perfume at the dinner, or the woman caught in the act of adultery, or tax collector Zacchaeus. Jesus responds with mercy and compassion, if we just turn form our idols, and turn to Him, acknowledge that He is our true love. Another great story is in Song of Solomon 1 where the king finds the bride hiding. She says she’s not pretty enough. And she runs and hides up in the mountain. But the kings does not turn around and goes to find another wife, but he chases her, and yells up to her enchanting, loving words of encouragement. He’s letting her know that he’s with her, even as she hides up in the cliffs. As I said the other day, again this book is yet another image of God and His love for His people, as well as how an earthly marriage should be. Solomon doesn’t turn away; he chases her, seeks her, and calls to her, shouting up words of love to his bride. Hosea, doesn’t turn around and goes on with his life, he goes to the market, slips past the guys with coins in their hands, ready to buy his wife for a day's wage, edges by the bystanders who stare her naked body down with envies eyes, and makes his way to the front, and says, in front of everyone, I’ll but her, I’ll pay what ever I have to, but I’m going home with her, my love, my wife, my life.

And so when we turn to Him, when we are so compelled to come back home, He brings us back into the vineyards. We see that the wilderness was not in vain, that they served a purpose, and we see that we were not alone, that He was there with us leading us, calling us.
At this we become aware of everything, we become acclimated to his grace. We see and remember the days of old, when we were young, when he first brought us out of Egypt. His love we can see, and our idols are cast light on for what they really were, hollow figurines, and gold painted stone and wood, quartz instead of diamonds. We see that all along He was with us guiding us from the time we fled Egypt, crossed the Sea, the Wilderness, the Promise Land, the Idolatry, the Captivity and back to Jerusalem again.

We will see the massive Sea, we will feel the heat of the desert, and the sand will lash at our skins, we will see our city walls torn down and our hands in shackles. But we will remember that He parted the sea, that He fed us bread and sprung up water to drink, and that He freed us and returned us to our home.

And here’s the best part, while we’re in the wilderness, while we are walking in circles, while we are bleeding pleading to him, as the sun wears on us, and the heat dries our mouth, we will slowly lose grip of those idols, and discard them along the way. And in that time God says something truly miraculous will happen, something truly amazing, something divine, something very spiritual to its core. Vs. 16 – “And in that day, declares the Lord, you will call me My Husband, and no longer will you call me My Baal (God)” He’s not talking about something earthly here. He’s talking about the three Hebrew words for Love, (raya, ahava, dod.) In the baking sun we will get the “raya” down. We see how strong His “ahava” his. And so we get all this worked out here in the wilderness, and then when we get out, when we get back to the vineyard, then we will have “dod.”

Our hearts will crave His love, and our minds and our flesh will forget our idols.
“For I will remove the names of the Baals (our idols) from her mouth, and they shall be remembered by name no more.” Vs. 17.

Lord, I pray with an earnest heart, help me to drop my idols, help me to look to You. May I see You in the wilderness and become more acquainted with You. May I not run with shame to the mountains tops, may I embrace You.

My Fantasy Team

I got a pretty good team I think. I ended up with my fav Harrison, and Holt and Roy Williams to pair up with him. If LJ stays healthy, he will not only lead KC to the playoffs, but the Gnostics (my team) as well. I also have Cadilac back, I had him his rookie year, and he did wonders for me them. They predict he'll be back this year. I also got my most desired pick (outside S. Jackson) in Alge Crumpler. He's the best TE out there. The big question lies in my QB's. I got Leftwich, Romo, and Cutler. Cutler might explode this year, which would be good, because I can't see Romo doing much more than he did last year, and Leftwich might not stay healthy. But if Leftwich does, then I've got a top 10 QB in him. Ive got Denver D, and Jax to back them up. Kasay as K. I'm hoping my D will be the diference this year for me. I've got Urlacher, Ed Reed, Polamalu, Freeney, KGB (who will surpass Reggie's record of sacks in GB this year,) Roy Williams and Charles Woodson. I also went ahead and got Trotter so when he signs with the Bucs, I've got another tackler in him.
So I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I'm pretty excited though. Last time I played, I only won like 4 games. But the time before that, I went to the Championship Game. So who knows.

Bike Polo

Now...

"As the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell on Abram. And behold, dreadful and great darkness fell upon him." - Gen. 15:12 (ESV)

"Now when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and behold, terror and great darkness fell upon him." - Gen. 15:12 (NAS)

God, why did you save me? Honestly, why?

Ok, can't pass this one up..."Why Foreign Policy Experience is Crucial"

I've decided that I'm done with my political post on this blog unless something really big comes up. Everyone knows the person I'm voting for, and if you don't you can look back in my previous post and find out. But when I saw this Daily Show video, I had to post. It has two bleeped words, but if you can get past it, it is a must watch. Why is foreign policy such an important issue for the presidential candidates? Jon explains why...

Love...

I have a question to go along with my study of marriage and being "unequally yoked."

Can you find love, the love that God intends for us to have and as expressed in the Bible, outside of a Christian-with-Christian marriage?

Raya - friend, companion.

Ahava - ardent commitment, it focuses on the emotional aspect, but also includes an action. the two cannot be separated when using this word.

Dod - the sexual, physical type of love.

The three Hebrew words for "love" expressed in the Song of Solomon, the book used to express how God views His Church and how a Godly marriage should look.

Oh Jerusalem...

Over at Adam's blog, there is a conversation going on over a many of things. After all is said and done, I hope that God will have been glorified by the whole thing, but I can't help but think what if it won't? I am reminded of the the words Jesus spoke in Matthew 23:37-39, "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing. Look, your house is left to you desolate. For I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, 'Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord."

"Look, your house is left to you desolate." Powerful words, especially today. If we could just cling to these words and earnestly seek to reconcile our differences, for the sake of the Gospel, so that we may reach those who have yet to be reconciled to God.

"Your will be done, on Earth, as it is in Heaven."

A Great Man of God...

"and yet still he seeks the fellowship of his people, and sends them both joy and sorrow, to detach their hands from the things of this world, to attach them to himself." - J.I. Packer

My Tank is on Empty (place exustive-feeling puncuation mark here.)

Figuratively and literally. My spiritual tank, and my gas tank. Not to brag, but I had over $50,000 a few months ago, now I have $10. No, not 10,000,... but 10. Oh well. I am once again battling a few demons of the flesh. I'm working on the marriage issue. Will post when done. Below is some thoughts I've been working over. Enjoy!

"Women make lousy Gods" - Matt Chandler

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7

A Great Song, Amazing Lyrics!

The following is the song by John Mayer "Gravity." I'm loving the lyrics right now because I can relate to the song. Gravity has taken down much bigger men than me down, so what am I to do. Wanting more is what's going to bring me to my knees. And I can have all the love that my heart could stand, but I dream of ways to throw it all down. Again, the weight of the journey can be stifling at times, and I wish I could just stay in the light. Gravity, stay the hell away from me!


Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh I'll never know what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away

Oh Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh twice as much aint twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees

Oh twice as much aint twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees

Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me
And gravity has taken better men than me (Now how can that be?)

Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
Keep you all where the light is
Just keep us where the light is
Ohh.. where the light is!

Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
Keep you all where the light is
Just keep us where the light is
Ohh.. where the light is!

An Issue (I Think?)

Alright, I know that by even saying this, I might raise some eyebrows, but I'm going to say it anyways. I've been wrestling with for some time now whether or not it is sin for a Christian to date or marry a non-Christian. Many traditionalists will say, as they have in the past, that it is not recommended, and bordering on the edge of sin. This issue, for me, stems from be surrounded by the following story:
Jill, the pastor's kid, goes of to college and meets Jack, the good and moral jock who, although he does believe in, he does not live for Jesus. They fall in love, get married, and begin a faith journey together. After several years together, Jack comes to fully realize Jill's faith, and accepts it himself. Then they live happily ever after.

I have seen and heard this story, on a personal level, many times over over my life time. I have always been told, "You should not missionary date," "What does light have with darkness," and "Do not be unequally yoked." I understand all of these statements. I understand that these are good guidelines to follow in most instances. But is it sin? When should these guidelines be followed?

For the record, I know that this issue stems from my fleshly desire to occasionally date someone who might not have the same values as I do. But it has been eating at me for some time now. I think it is time to work it out.

So here's the deal. I know the Spirit must be regarded in this matter in anyone's life, and that the Word should be highly regarded, and together, with the Spirit, be used as the final authority on this matter.

But, outside that, I ask for opinions from all of you. What are your convictions, learnings, life lessons?

I will be studying this issue for a few days to come, and pray that God will speak truth into me on this matter. I ask for your help as well. Please, if you have anything to contribute, either for one side or the other, please comment. If you feel uncomfortable posting publicly, then email your comments. Thank You Friends!

I will post my studies on here later. Till then.

I Like Aristotle!

I'm reading this book called The Sabbath by Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel. It's pretty intense stuff, very weighty, but I have managed to pull out this great line of reasoning quoted from Aristotle, "we need relaxation, because we cannot work continuously. Relaxation then is not an end, it is for the sake of activity." Now that I can hold on to, that I can learn from and dwell on and make it a maxim for my life. Thanks Aristotle for your inspiration!

Great Line

I was once text'd the following quote from a new up and coming church planter in the area. I'm not sure if it was original to him, but it was amazing none the less.

"With what percentage of your people doing nothing with their faith would you be satisfied with?"

So are you a half full- or half empty type of person?

For the record, I think it originally was made by Dwight Smith.

More Chandler Quotes

Here's a few more quotes from Chandler:

In response to some people who questioned why the Village gave thousands of dollars to local churches in the area of the Village, Matt said "Because this thing is way bigger than us. And if all we see is us, we get bored real quick.” He went on to say “Instead of sowing all of our energy and effort into us, why not sow it into the Kingdom of God, which is eternal.”

The following line, again, I swear Matt stole from us at Journey. Everytime someone ask me about how the church is doing, or what we do, I say a similar line as below. Adam has said it many times over, so it's embeded in my head now. In my personal life, he reminds me of this a lot as well, it's something I have fought over for years now. It's such a radical idea, yet very simple. Or as Alan Hirsch would put it, its a "simplex" idea, both simple and complex.
"Here’s the best way for light to shine out of the church: You transformed by the Gospel, working in every domain of society."

Lord I pray that you continue to drill into our hearts this idea. Remind us that You are there leading us on in this journey. We pray that all followers of You will live out this idea, and that we can all work towards reaching our Jerusalem, Judea, and Samaria in our contexts. May you grant us the strength and humbleness needed for this calling. Amen.

And so until next my next post, to borrow another line from Matt, "Work like the Arminians, and sleep like the Calvinists."

Being a Parent

Now, I'm not a parent yet, but hope to be in the next few years. I was listening tonight to Matt Chandler, one of the best Bible teachers I've heard. I absolutly love this guy, and have even had a chance to meet him a few months back. During this sermon, he addressed some emails that he and the staff got that suggested for the church to start up Awana (for those who don't know, Awana is like the Christian version of the Cub Scouts.) He said that every email or call told a story how they were at some function, and another kid could recite a passage, but the emailer's kid couldn't. And then they would end the email with the question. "what are we teaching them." Then Matt said something that Adam and I discussed about a year and a half ago. " The following is verbatum of what Matt said during his sermon in response to those requests. And it eerily sounded alot like what Adam said a year and a half ago.

“The NextGen department here work very hard on two things:
#1 is teaching the glory and majesty and might of God to the children.
And the second is trying to involve YOU in that process.
There is no text in our sacred literature, that says it is the church’s job to impart the might of Christ to your children, that Yours. And all empirical data says that when the church tries, and the parents aren’t in it, it does not work.”
“If your interested, I will send you the empirical data of the percentages of children that grow up in the church, graduate, and walk away from the church for decades.”
“Now don’t get me wrong, I want my daughter and son to know where Obadiah is. But in the end, if they have hearts that have been captivated by Christ, then Obadiah will come.”
“I am not going to have to stand in front of God and give an account for the impartation of the glory of God to your children, you will. Not me.”
“We’re trying to empower you, as parents, to be involved deeply in the spiritual formation of your children. Because honestly it’s a loss if we teach them about the splendors of Christ, and you seem uninterested.”
“You get them all day everyday, we get them for 45 min. a week. If your banking on us, your in trouble, your in trouble.”

Amazing words, I swear that Matt must have had some listening devise to steal our thoughts on that one, because it was dead on to what we were saying. (Or could it be some other supernatural bodiless being that is capable of spreading around ideas that are alike to many people around the globe???) Hum, I wonder?....

Anyways, Matt said a few more good lines that I will post on here tomorrow, but for now I'm out.

P.S. By the way, the percentage is 80%. 8 out of 10 young adults who grew up in the church, when they graduate high school, will leave the church, either to return 10-20 years later, or never. This statistic held true for 4 consecutive years at the church I went to as a youth.
Then again, 86% of all statistics are made up. Who knows?

Political Video

just a warning for those who dont care for whats being said in the world of politics. But for those who do care, enjoy! Notice, he is picking on Hillary, a Democrat.

The Concert!

It was amazing. James Morrison rocked. He really impressed me. I only knew one of his songs, but he is good. He has a real soulful sound. Then Ben Folds was awesome as expected. It started to rain during his last song, so that got the crowd really into, and so he went with it and just played for like another 10 min. He rocked it, and we loved it. Then John came out, and again, it was amazing. Anyone that knows me knows I LOVE DMB, and one reason why is because they have alot of jam songs. Well, so does John. He tore up the guitar. I dont say this lightly, but he might be the best guitarist of our generation (and Rolling Stone magazine seems to agree). He was unbelievable last night. Below is his set list for the night. My favorite from last night was Gravity. It was about 10 mins long, and worth every second. I have made it my mission to see DMB every year he comes to Tampa, but I will now have to add John Mayer to that mission. It was amazing!

Belief
No Such Thing
I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)
Good Love is On the Way
Waiting on the World to Change
Bigger Than My Body
Vultures
Gravity
Why Georgia
I Don't Need No Doctor
In Repair

-- encore --
Your Body is a Wonderland (acoustic)
Neon (acoustic)
I'm Gonna Find Another You

John Mayer Tonight!

I know I've been doing this lately, but I decided to spoil myself, and go to the John Mayer concert tonight in Tampa. I resisted, but to no avail. I just can't pass up on a lineup like tonight. Starting off is a Brit by the name of James Morrison, he has an amazing song called "You Give Me Something." So I'm sure he will be good. Then, a man who could do his own show by himself and be perfect, Ben Folds. Can't wait to see him do his thing. And then of course, John Mayer. It will surly be a great night, as long as it doesn't rain, because I've got lawn seats. I'll let you know how it goes later. I can hear John now, 'Welcome to the real world,' she said to me, condescendingly, take a seat, take your life, Plot it our in black and white..."

Today...

Has been a whirlwind for me. It started out early this morning, and ends with me on the same idea again tonight. Although I'm doubt I will be up as late tonight as I was last night, I still feel a great burden upon me. I still feel that God is grabbing me, and is intent upon seeing me through. To be sure of that helps out alot. Tonight, although I did not finish the rest of the passage for today, I am reminded of a famous passage. And it is tearing me a new one again tonight, as it has done so many times before. I share it with you all tonight. May God reveal Himself to you when ever you read this. "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty." - Isaiah 6:5

On another note, Naples today was great. Dwight Smith had some more powerful stuff. God showed up again, and convicted me again of sin in my life, and in the life of His Church. I'll put up some notes maybe tomorrow.

Lyrics for the two songs on my player

You Are My Joy - David Crowder Band

And He set me on fire, and I am burning alive.
With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And he set me on fire and I am burning alive.
With his breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And I cannot hold it in
Remain composed.
Love's taken over me
So I propose the letting myself go.
I am letting myself go.

You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.

And He set me on fire, and I am burning alive.
With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And He set me on fire, and I am burning alive.
With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And I cannot hold it in and remain composed.
Love's taken over me and so I propose the letting myself go.
I am letting myself go.

You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.

I need to catch my breath, I need to.
I need to catch my breath, give me a moment now.

You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.

I'm laughing so hard
And I'm laughing so hard
And I'm laughing so hard



The Wedding Dress - Derek Webb

If you could love me as a wife
and for my wedding gift, your life
Should that be all I'd ever need
or is there more I'm looking for

and should I read between the lines
and look for blessings in disguise
To make me handsome, rich, and wise
Is that really what you want

I am a whore I do confess
But I put you on just like a wedding dress
and I run down the aisle
and I run down the aisle
I'm a prodigal with no way home
but I put you on just like a ring of gold
and I run down the aisle to you

So could you love this bastard child
Though I don't trust you to provide
With one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in your side

I am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers so less wild
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood

Because money cannot buy
a husband's jealous eye
When you have knowingly deceived his wife

Something I Must Do

I know, that with this and the last post I've made, that I scare off many friends, and regular passer-byers of this blog, and understandably so. And so I apologize to those people up front, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for this game of charades I've been playing.

I have decided to put a link on my myspace to here. I do this as a way for those who dont know that I run this blog, but who are friends with me on myspace, can see what I say here. The reason why this is a big issue is, many of my friends dont know that I am a Christian, or if they do know that, they see that I am not a very good follower. So I do this, to rid myself of a mask, a mask that I love to wear, and that I have been wearing for some time now. I take it off on Sundays, and around certain crowds, but I wear it so much that I have tan-lines from it. So off it goes, and into the trash, and lets hope that I dont go and buy another one.

Restless

It is, as I am typing now, 1:02 AM. I am suppose to be leaving in 6 hours to go to Naples for the day with Adam, Eric and Father Wade in what will surely be a great day of learning at the Alliance Conference put on by the guys at Summit. And so while I should be sleeping, I am tossing and turning, and trying to figure out why I can't sleep. But I can't. So after many conversations back and forth between God and I, and between my brain and I, I decided to do my journal for the day (the 2nd.) So I got up and grabbed Lora's journal (no I didn't look through her entries,) and Adam's ESV Bible and do some reading and writing (on a side note, I would like to thank Adam and Lora of their , although unknown to them, generosity and kindness for letting me borrow their items.) Anyways, so what I am about to do now is read the day's chapters and write about them. I will post them here, and although it may seem that I am copying a good man's blog in doing this, I assure you that I do this on my own accord, and only because I feel that this is what God is wanting me to do now instead of sleeping. I will be back in a few...


Ok, it's 2:18 now. The following is what God has been saying to me in the past hour. I only read 1/3 of the chapter in 2 Kings, but I'll finish the rest later in the day. So here it is:

Why is it that God continues to say over and over again that He will “not cause the feet of Israel to wander anymore,” yet Israel does again and again and again. And God takes them back again and again and again. Here in 2 Kings 21:8 God says it again, but what happens in verse 9? “But they did not listen, and Manasseh led them astray.” I’m no Bible scholar, but I do think that I have a good bit of head knowledge of the Bible and God and matters concerning the two, and I’ll be honest, this issue has perplexed me the most. God, in the O.T., repeatedly says that He will make Israel great. Then Israel turns on Him, and then there is judgment. Then they come back to Him, then there is forgiveness, and the promise that He will guide them and that they will never again leave. And the cycle keeps going all the way through the O.T. Then Jesus comes, and the time of the Gentiles kicks in and the Jews are cast out, and their minds and eyes, both as an ethnic and religious group, are veiled. But the promise is made by Paul that the Jews’ time of yet another redemption will come again, just before the end of time. So here’s my issue: God makes these promises, then the opposite happens. And this is repeated all throughout the O.T. I mean, the books of Kings, Samuel and Chronicles are sometimes hard for me to read (and I LOVE history) just because it is the same ole story: promise and rejection. But going even deeper into this idea, I find what I think is the real issue for me. The entire history of Israel is my life story for the past 9 years of my Christian life. I’m lead out of slavery, I have a few years of wandering around the “desert” called my high school, and then I arrive at the Promised Land. But then I get angry with the new set of rules, and even with the memories of the parted Red Sea still vivid in my mind, I find it hard to follow and believe in this way of life. So I then abandon it, but only for a spell, then I come back with a furry of passion and commitment. But then something else came along, whether it was a new girl, and new friend, a new bar, or a new drink. Or even the same old friend, girl, drink, or bar. Regardless of what it was, I turned, did not listen, and was lead astray. But time and time again, I came back. Sometimes, I had one hand stretched out to the heavens in praise with the other hand still grasping my idols. Other times I came back with both hands held high, but still reeling with euphoria off the thoughts of that girl from the night before. And a few times, I came back with my face to the ground, unable to speak, with tears pouring down my face, begging God not to end and erase my pitiful excuse of a life from the memories of loved ones, and family. But what I am afraid of is this: when will, in my life, come the age of Jesus, where the age of the Gentiles kicks in, and the veil is pulled over my eyes? When will the patience of the Lord expire for me, and his just wrath start? I shutter at just the thought of that time being just around the corner. I pray that God will grant me just a bit more grace and withhold his furious wrath from me for just a little bit longer. It’s funny, but Adam and I have joked before about the subject of Limited/Unlimited Atonement in relation to my life, and he always says that for everyone else, God has unlimited atonement, but just especially for me, he has a limited amount. My great fear is Adam being right. What was the final straw for the Jews, where did God draw the line in the sand, and say “that’s enough?” So as I read this chapter in 2 Kings, I am again reminded of this fact; God wants me living out what he has called me to do. I know all the right stuff, and can recite it all back, but when will I start living in it? When will be the last time I fall down at His feet, never to arise again? When will I cling to His feet, and beg to not leave His presence? When will I take my $100 cologne and spill it over His feet, or use my favorite shirt from the Gap to dry them? Like Israel did so many times, I cry out to God to heal me, to rip my poisonous heart out and replace it with a heart that can actually accomplish something for Him. I pray with earnestness, for fear that my “Age of the Gentiles” might be right around the corner.