This is what I like to hear...

Ok, I must admit, I'm a bit of a conspiricey therorist. You wold have to be foolish and naive to think that some stuff doesn't go on behind our backs. Like "Charley Wilson's War" type of stuff. But I don't take it to this guy's level. But that idea is ran in the ground now. The reason why I put this on her is because I wish all politicians handled themselves this way. This is brazen and politically incorrect to do. You don't address hecklers like that. But Clinton does. For the record, I'm not a big fan of Clinton, but I love this!

Love Wins!!!

Adam and I were having a conversation the other day while we were eating at the Waffle House. (By the way, I've eaten there before, but for some reason, my opinion has now changed, and it's my new old favorite.) Anyways, we were talking about the age old topic of God's Irresistible Grace. And tonight, as I lay here after watching the movie "Once" (which I will go into more later,) I started thinking about how it is time for me to really move on in life (again.) How now is the time to move, not later. You know those kind of times where God is kinda pushing you to start living right again. Again, anyways, I started thinking how I want to find a girl like that one day, and preferable soon. And so I thought to myself how love can change you, much like it did with the couple in the movie. And so I thought about how nice that will be one day when I have that. And then a thought occurred to me. It isn't so much that God's grace is irresistible, its more so its His love that is. Over the past year, He has constantly been pursuing me, and I have been running. But after awhile, I got tired. And now, here I am thinking about how tomorrow is the start of a new week. A new week to try this thing again. All this time, God has (yes, with his grace,) patiently, but lovingly waited it out for me. Now was this predestined or of my own choosing, who cares. I don't. But what hits me now in this moment, is Love. Love. God. Remember the verse "because God is Love." (1 Jn. 4:8) God is Love. Love is God. And although I don't think we can fully grasp, in this life, all that Love (God) encompasses, I do think that God (Love) has allowed us to witness many acts and creations throughout history to come to some understanding of its basic principles. And for me, its this: Love wins. I know that might sound cliche or Rob Bell(ish), but its true. Love (God) wins and overcomes. And so with His grace He saves us, but with His love He pursues us. And so it is this; His love is irresistible, not his grace. But I'm no theologian either...

Man, one of my new favorite songs from the movie is called "Say It To Me Now."
Here are the lyrics:

Scratching at the surface now
And I'm trying hard to work it out
And so much has gone misunderstood
And this mystery only leads to doubt
And I didn't understand
When you reached down to take my hand

And if you have something to say
You'd better say it now

'Cause this is what you've waited for
Your chance to even up the score
And as these shadows fall on me now
I will somehow

'Cause I'm picking up the message, Lord
And I'm closer than I've ever been before
So if you have something to say
Say it to me now
Just say it to me now


Go and watch this movie. Better yet, buy it. Trust me, its worth it. So I'll just keep scratching, and we'll see what happens.

1 Year Anniversary!!!

That was me one year ago!


Today is my one year anniversary of my car accident. Looking back, it seems like it has been longer. So to celebrate, among other things, I am going to review over things I have learned in the past year as a result of the accident.

1. First and foremost, WEAR YOUR SEATBELT!!! This idea was reaffirmed on Wednesday when I got to work in the ER CT Scan during our Code 2 (Emergency Activation Plan.) We received 7 patients, five were trauma's. Three of these trauma's were from people ejected. They were not wearing their seat belts. Bottom Line is wear your seatbelt!

2. Be thankful for the most simple of luxuries. Things like being able to fall asleep, or being able to sleep in any position you feel like. Or in being able to run, or walk for that matter. Or for your eyesight, (I don't know how my eye wasn't littered with glass like the rest of my face.) Or being able to take a real shower, or even to wash with a rag on your own.

3. Have car insurance. The more the better. Just in case.

4. Work at the hospital. They cover all your hospital cost if you go there. That helps alot.

5. There are evil forces (or demons, what ever you wish to call them,) that are at work here on this earth. I felt them in my room on one night after I returned from the hospital. I will never forget that feeling. I could almost see just this darkness in the top corner, just hovering, preying on my soul. I couldn't move, so all I did was listen and think for a bit. I heard some awful things, and I can see why they were trying to keep me down. I know God has something big in store for me. So I just decided to pray, and I don't mean like in the formal way, I mean like I was just talking out loud to the roof, asking God to intercede. I'm not even sure what I said now, but I know this: He did. There seemed to be a like what I would call a big bang, minus all the noise and light. And it was over. And so this is what I learned. I can still remember, lying there, feeling this unbelievable weight on my chest and throat, and I have never been more scared in my life. I heard a voice, not out loud, but in my head, saying that I was a waste, pathetic, weak, and not worthy of the calling. And then I noticed a slim slither of light coming from the door's slight ajar. And so I focused on that light, and began to pray. On few occasions has the presence of God been more clearer then that moment. And so I say that to say this, focus on the light, however small it may be. The dark can be immense, full of weight to the point of overbearing, and terrifying. But even the slightest bit of light can slice through the dark with the easiest of ease. That is the comforting part of this story, God can overcome any and all darkness, or plight that you may be in. Cling to Him.

6. Seeing a therapist is ok. It can help alot. Expensive, but helpful.

7. God will see you through till the end. I have been through some big spiritual testings this year, I although beaten and bruised, I feel that the end of the tunnel for this spell is at hand. There were times, where I just didn't care anymore. There were times when I got tired of trying. But I pushed on. I went to the brink of giving up, and I am on my way back again. And although there were times when it seemed God was hands off, He was there the entire time, watching and leading, urging me on with His Spirit. I am reminded of a story in Hosea. Read my understanding of it here. It is the most powerful story that I know of in the Bible outside Jesus' death.

So anyways, thanks for reading this through. It is therapy for me. I hope you can glean a few lessons and insights from all of this. That is what your suppose to do, learn from your mistakes and others....

.... And Buckle Up!!!

Big Wins...

Well, I haven't had any political post on here in several months. One reason is because I figured that most were as sick of the garbage that both sides were putting out. But tonight, on the heels of the conclusion of the Iowa Caucuses, I felt that it was time to at least congratulate the two big winners of tonights voting. I am very happy with the outcome. Two of my top 3 candidates won their respective party votes. Barack Obama won, carrying 38 % to Edwards' 30% and Clinton's 29%. This is the first crucial step to winning the Democratic nomination. Now if he can just carry it over to New Hampshire and South Carolina. Also, Mike Huckabee won the Republican nomination with 34% followed by Mitt Romney had 26%, and Fred Thompson bringing up the rear with 13%. But for those Obama and Huckabee fans out there, don't get to excited yet. They can always blow this big win here by pulling another Howard Dean and ruin their chances. So all in all, I'm happy with today's results.